Newnan Pratlaw's Posts On Hot Legal Topics

February 8, 2010


Even Concrete Is Transient

As a kid I loved the book, The Count of Monte Christo, especially the elaborate revenge the main character plotted against the people that had wronged him.  He spared no cost in plotting and carrying out the series of events that led to serendipity and his revenge against the horrible people who had falsely imprisoned him.  They could not help themselves because they were without a conscience.   To him it was the best money he had ever spent.

Is there an amount that is too much to spend for happiness?   Getting out of a relationship that has become cracked concrete, even when there is a child or children involved is sometimes the only course to take to get back into a world of bright colors, singing and happiness. Consider this:  The Oriental concept of Feng Shui which is the study and perhaps science of balancing life and its energy should be considered when life is skewed and in need of correction.  That concept, however, is always at odds with the acceptance of the transient nature of our own mortality and the understanding that life can never be perfect; that acceptance/understanding is called Wabi Sabi in the orient.

The two concepts, Perfect Harmony and Acceptance of Transience,  converge in balance at the fulcrum of  happiness.  It is the state of happiness where we want our children to be and to grow and learn.  It is the preface to the Constitution:  Life, Liberty, The Pursuit of Happiness.   Children are innately happy and want to be happy.  In my experience training horses I find that children/human beings in general have a lot in common with horses.   Like horses, children have the ability to see the slightest gesture at a hundred yards and the almost silent tonal inflection in the way something is said which changes its entire meaning.  Children are ultimately egocentric in their outlook and that is not only a given but a must for them to become independent and “leave the nest” as late teenagers.  That egocentricity can translate into worry over what they did in playing a part in the ending of their parents marriage; but that worry is easily calmed by simply and definitively telling them that they had absolutely nothing to do with the divorce and that after the divorce they will be happier …  and besides they will get two Christmases/ Hanukkahs , two birthdays,  etcetera.

The ending of a failed brittle relationship that is no longer anything more than a constant reminder to everyone hovered around the scene  and children in the middle of it that they never, ever, under any circumstances ever want an adult relationship like it because such a relationship is misery personified.  Getting out of the concrete can be nothing less than money well spent:  And with a little counseling and life coaching one can regain who you were before the failed relationship and go forth pursuing happiness with all your might, a spectacle that your children will learn from as they mature into adulthood.  It just could be the best money you ever spent.

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